You put your red cup in a chain link fence and kept telling me you could use it as a telescope
I just watched a blind kid buy from one of the vending machines on campus...guess there's nothing like a good surprise?
I'm going to start giving girls scratch off lottery tickets when they leave my place in the am. That way they have a chance of not regretting the night before
Single handedly the worst sex I've ever had just went down. Its like we both laid there after word-less thinking about the other " could they be any worse in bed" ?
Bro I am trying to have one night stands nothing more, unless she is baking waffles I can eat out of her butthole I am not interested
The last thing I remember is feeding country fried steak to my best friend in a bubble bath with my bare hands.
We opted you as the sacrificial dick tonight. We need our patron cafe. Go make some moves.
Thanks for letting me rent out your vagina rec room. I don't expect the security deposit back.
Look at you go. You're like the Slutty Librarian that Could. They should write children's books about you. Children's books for adults.
An image of us stuck like that like Pompeii comes to mind. A wonder for future anthropologists
YOU IS KIND. YOU IS SMART. YOU IS IMPORTANT. YOU IS CLEANING YOUR OWN VOMIT.
lets go to sea world and you can just hit on every guy in a wetsuit until you get lucky
I need to buy fuckboy repellant for whenever I think it's a good idea to meet boys I found in tinder
I apparently tried to wax off my nipples.This explains the pain
Your liver needs more exercise - we start training tonight.
Randomize
