pube in her braces AGAIN. barely kept a straight face.
just jacked off in the bed i was conceived in.
Tipped our cab with a photo booth pic of us, a paper dollar, a dollar in quarters, a crest white strip. And a tanning pass valid in boston
There was an Altoids can full of urine in the bathroom. I do not want to know what was going on in there.
I caught her walking around with a fake mustache, wearing a sombrero and holding an empty carton of milk. She's a hopeless cause.
You should come by for the fire station blow job tour
Quick question. How did my clothes end up in your room on your bed and I end up outside your room naked on your couch?
if there is one thing you splurge on it better be nice condoms
Just smoked the bong while taking a dump. I love living by myself.
He sent me a picture of his dick as a snake, I'd say things are going great.
That shit was hard as fuck. It felt like a mountain entering my vagina.
Sometimes being bisexual is a curse. Turns out I banged both of her older twin brothers last summer.
Guess who's now on the no-fly list? If you guessed me, you'd be right.
He showed up completely drunk with a 30 of PBR and ten cans of Spam. I like this kid.
so i might have slept on your bathroom floor last night...
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