apparently you CAN get banned from Nascar.
I'm naming my child veloci raptor. And you can be a part of its life if you want. But that's its name. Cause i have the vagina.
i'm gonna start putting 34DD under other qualifications on my bartender applications and see if that helps
You can't break up with me and ask me for a handjob on the same day. At least not in that order.
We sat in his closet and drank four loko out of my camelbak for an hour in the dark. You tell me how my night went.
Dude he was a used car salesman for his friends' penises. I know I have something here that's right for you!
Are you still crying. What are you doing. Have 10 shots of tequila.
Never thought I would be taunted by little kids about my walk of shame
I beer bonged before it even hit 4 o' clock. Please get on my level homecoming style.
Dude, half of south Mississippi has seen my taint. I'm not worried.
Also not to brag but I got high last night and got us a host family in a chateau in the south of France
I told the emergency room nurse I didn't want to stop and ruin the moment. She said safewords are there for a reason. Super condescending. Got her number though.
Turns out it's a fake number.
I think the God that I only kind of believe in, definitely hates me.
Girl i am always here for you. But i am going to have sex now so im going to call you in the morning.
This is the fourth guy that I've broken in to gay sex. How the hell do they find me?
Positive reviews on angieslist?
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