As soon as I saw the video camera and red light on, I started rolling my eyes when he would put it in me and telling him maybe his dick was too small cause I didn't feel anything...trust me that tape is going nowhere
Following a car with a GPS. We don't know where he's going, but he probably has a better idea of where we're going than we do. Also, very high.
DID YOU JUST COME OUT THROUGH A FACEBOOK COMMENT??
I'm glad we have the kind of friendship where if either of us is too drunk to fuck a hot guy, we pass the responsibility to each other and get the job done.
I just re read that. We really need to get our lives together.
This is me reassuring you that I'm still alive and making sure you still are.
I'm laying outside on my patio attempting to get sun with a puke bucket next to me... This is dedication to the tan my friend
My number one goal in life is to find out who can fill a keg with Popov
In his defense he just bought a bong like a week ago so he's still in that honeymoon phase.
You told me you would ride a pig into the night sky screaming, "I wear my sunglasses at night"
Nope my penis exudes pure oxygen in times of crisis.
his butt looks cute in my panties so i decided he has to wear panties all the time from now on.
Last night you told me you "were too high" and didn't deserve a hashbrown.
Just witnessed some guy throw his fake eye at his dad's face. Actually, he whipped it at him.
i was so high when i left this morning that rather than make sandwiches i threw bread and peanut butter in my backpack. a whole loaf. and a whole jar
I've decided it's okay if I take a pregnancy test every month. Then I can be like, "Good job, self, way to not procreate this month!"
Randomize