Everytime I think about NYE, my gag reflex kicks in.
It went from "haha, this will be funny" to "full blown anime porn fetish"
It was kind of like a train wreck, except alcohol would have improved the situation greatly.
it was all good until he screamed "for fraaannnceee" on his last thrust
The barista asked if I wanted my drink wet or dry, but all that came to mind was farts. You have ruined me.
Just peed on my foot. Thank you Sunday hangovers.
Middle of vacation, he walked into an audition for a Broadway musical in a drunken stupor. I think he got the part.
Bro she gave me the stare. It's like she boned me with her eyes. I'm going in.
How do I discreetly dispose of sex toy packaging that is recyclable? What to do...what to do?
If you got tons of KY ads on HuluPlus, it's because I hit "relevant" every time.
There are no female cereal mascots. I just realized that in my drunken state... So sexist...
I will read books by day and do guys by night. A mental and physical enlightenment, if you will.
I said I wanted pizza tattoo on my ass and the tattooist asked me what I wanted on it.
I'm laying in bed cuddling with my teddy bear and eating waffles. I need a fucking boyfriend
You told him he “could park his dick in your garage”.
Well he didn’t. It shouldn’t be this hard to get a penis.
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