halloween costumes for girls are easy, slutty teacher, slutty cop, slutty nurse, etc...
exactly, that's why i want something interesting
slutty neuroscientist?
Picking up third year law school girls is like MILF hunting for beginners
i called her out for picking her nose in public and he still wonders why i don't like her!
The man at the Honda dealership told me I smell like vodka and probably shouldn't be driving.
I feel like butter and tequila would be excellent combination. Right now. Please do this in my name.
She gave us all a pep talk at the bus stop at 1 AM. It involved cupcakes and somehow ended with her making out with her best friend. God bless college.
Just had empanadas for breakfast while watching Wall-e with my yesterday's one night stand mother AND grandmother.
My penis is saying yes, several less important organs are saying noo...
That's one good thing about being an only child. I can masturbate wherever the fuck I want
In hindsight, I probably should not have let the waiter give me a chiropractic adjustment on my neck last night.
well it was great until i saw his anime body pillow
Well I'm nervous now about the consequences of letting you loose
It's a big decision, I respect that you need to think about it.
I took out a life ins. policy Thursday. It's okay I can die in Nashville now.
Well, you started screaming "I dont know you GO AWAY" to your mom when she was holding your hair as you threw up in her garden.
Its because she suspects I'm a frequent drug user, which I am, but I am going to make her feel like she is crazy for believing it.
Randomize
