i'm almost one hundred percent positive that i have a warrant out for my arrest in this city. i also don't give a fuck because im drinking TEQUILAAAA
She says ass holes are for stuffing, the verb, not stuffing, the noun.
I saw a girl walking around campus with bandages on both her knees. I need to get her number.
and when he finished he handed me a baby wipe so i could clean up. i'm ok with the fact that he has kids, but not sure how to react to this.
I am as serious as getting herpes in Mexico...
What do herpes have to do with anything?
We didn't have sex but he is somehow naked and laying on top of me. his dick is touching my leg and freaking me the fuck out.
I can feel the judgmental stares of Christians from around the world right now.
Can I borrow you for, like, thirty minutes so you can lay on one boob and rub the other until I fall asleep?
Nothing like having your house arrest ankle bracelet vibrate and take a moisture sample at the exact moment you're about to blow it in some chick...buzzkill
she's an english major so her sexts are something i look forward to
You got kicked out after 30 minutes, 3 beers and 2 shots. Group record. Also you kept rubbing his belly and calling him buddha.
I have nothing to say other than the obvious 'we probably shouldn't have done that' and the less obvious 'i think you bruised my labia major' ...?
My left boob kept making random appearances last night.
You can't be mad... I'm letting you jerk off in my parents shower
I told him no rough stuff and he immediately bit my ass. Who the fuck does that?
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