if she leaves who will i have to secretly talk about behind thier back
finally cleaned my dorm for the first time all year. bleach is awesome.
Being at this bar with grandma is a real cockblocker
I may only be a second year med student but I feel very confident in calling that a micropenis.
Plus you know he's just 2 semesters and 4 glasses of wine away from "experimenting" with some French major
Apparently, we were running around the apartment, singing into pickles, the routinely slapped our passed out friends with them.
Oh. And what's the twitter protocol for following the guy you blew behind a shed?
doing a walk of shame covered in blue food coloring is only embarrassing if you make it embarrassing...actually no its embarrassing on all accounts
I don't care if he was in that porno. He looked like he knew what he was doing.
wearing my old cheerleader outfit to the bar was a great way to get free drinks. i should do this more often
He has started theming his dick pics. I have one he sent his duck has a sombrero on. Another a Barbie is riding it.
Simultaneously sexting while making brunch plans. Multitasking at its gayest.
Help me help you realize you are a moron
I've seen you go skiing on a Tuesday, but you think you're too good for TGI Friday's?
Like wanna sit on your face while you speak German hot
Randomize
