last thing I heard her say before I passed out was 'this is great. I never get to be the big spoon.'
If you're wondering about the pepper everywhere its for the ants and it was my doings. They hate pepper. You're welcome.
I told them the reason I passed out was because of "heat exhaustion." Not from showing up drunk. Good thing this is Arizona.
That's the point of day drinking, get fucked up by 6pm so you can get stuff done the next day. It's the adult thing to do.
Your lack of enthusiasm for my exciting news of drunken debauchery with an otherwise occupied vagina of one of my greatest conquests yet disturbs me. I'm not happy with you
my vagina is starting to think like a penis, and I'm not even slightly worried
I know you're having some issues right now but can we focus on the gangbang?
Girl. There is no more toilet paper. You should have seen the twerking I just did to shake the pee off.
I kept screaming that he looked like Khal Drogo and rode around the bar on his back.
I’m literally watching say yes to the dress, eating fancy cheeses with crackers, and I have orange dark chocolates. All of which is being washed down with merlot. And I’m 100% sure a porno is gonna go down next door tonight. They don’t have a car and arrived via taxi. Happy holidays from motel 6 Pendleton Oregon!
Did anyone see us fucking last night on the giant turtle outside downtown Disney?
i woke up on the couch at 5:24am, hangover, craving for some ribs, but i only had a bag of cheetos and a half empty beer. man what a breakfast.
So how do u get your coat out of the coat room when someone is fucking on it?
She was riding a razor scooter down the street wearing nothing but a feather boa it was beautiful.
I don't mean to alarm you but are the strongest testicles in the family. I just learned I can lift 90 lb with my balls! Beat that.
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