last night was a success...if success means i don't remember the guy's name and my panties are somewhere in the parking lot behind the bar
Totally about to meet up with Ryan in an empty parking lot. Expect to fuck him. Yes I know it's 3am. Slutty? Possibly. Excited? Damn right.
he burped in my vagina and tried to deny it...
Def drinking wine from a 4 liter jug at 11 am. If i call you in 20 years talking about 12 steps, please trace is back to this moment.
I enjoyed our heart to heart in the trunk on the way to the stripclub
I need to find a more grown up way of dealin with a hangover at the office than pringles and mountain dew at 8:30 am...
I threw up on my way to work while listening to "the good times are killing me". this award goes to modest mouse for creating the most poetic puke ever
Just had to find a way to explain to the border patrol that we were coming into canada "for about a half hour to have one last under 21 drink before kendals birthday at midnight." He said ok and told us where the closest bar was. Nice man.
BRING ME THE PLAN B. ILL GIVE YOU A FREE WATER BOTTLE AND A BUMPER STICKER AND SOME BACON BITS
His mom already thought we were lesbians BODY SHOTS WERE JUST NOT AN OPTION SORRY
I feel like we have both made good decisions regarding our vaginas lately
So the " I'm gay but curious" thing worked. You owe me 50 bucks.
Thank you <3 he just looked at me, fist bumped me, and asked me what was on my titty....we may cut her off
One minute I'm going home the next I'm getting railed on the back 9.
When you called me I said did you make it home. You said yeah. Then you said you didn't know where you were. I said you were at home and you said but where. I said you are in the bathroom. Then you said oh, you're so smart lol
Randomize
