No, don't ignore my call, i just need to know, whats cuter a pig in boots or a miniature horse sitting down..
I woke up this morning to 4 booty call texts. So i am trying to find the sign that says i like to sit on cocks so that i can take it off.
trust me, i wonder where that sign is on a daily basis.
question: from what angle do you give a hand job. im confused..
You're so easy to please, it's adorable. Like an alcoholic puppy.
update. expensive tequila only makes the mistakes more expensive.
four loko is officially banned. leave it to the kids from a state school to fuck it up for everyone
You tried to get me to kick my booty call out at 3am by tempting me with a trip to ihop
We picked up some guys dressed as shamrocks at taco bell. I will text you with further information.
Hey have you ever thought about fishing cause I'd like to go fishing but don't know anyone that fishes and I'm gonna cry because. FISHING
You okay?
I walked into work with a banana and a loaf of bread
Well he was mad because I chose tequila over him. He obviously doesn't understand that he will always be second to my first true love.
You told me you were with a dog dressed as a taco, and it was the only one you trusted
Like who turns down taking a nap inside of someone in 2014.
The first thing I did when I got to the apartment was masturbate on the couch
All I know is I woke up cuddling a jar of peanut butter....
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