We almost didn't get a second pitcher, but now we're getting a sixth.
My history with restaurant waiters is severely limiting our dinner options.
she met some random, took his vcard, peed in his bed, left, and then requested him as her boyfriend on facebook
There's half of a squirrel in the bathtub - i figured you'd be the one to go to.
i'm drinking margaritas from a pouch...really dont think i'm in the position to judge anyone...
I left you pizza on the porch. I didn't want to wake you, if you were passed out on the bathroom floor again. Sorry if it's cold.
You demanded I give you a glass of water, so I set it down in front of you and you knock it over and roll in it..,
I wanted to be a dolphin.
We stuck the straw in the bourbon as a joke, you saw it as a challenge.
i only avoided him because he looked like he was about to have a heart attack and i didnt feel like doing cpr on my day off.
what type of emt are you
Just had a serious discussion with my ex-boyfriend about sexy nurse vs. sexy teacher. So score one for friendship I guess.
the cashier at the gas station pulled a twig out of my hair and told me I should probably wash it before work....it was kinda sweet.
He's like a sexy bearded lumberjack who likes wine.. I can't lose..
He doesn't have much of a personality but he makes up for it with his sexual prowess
keeper.
I'm seeing how far I can grow my leg hair out before Jason will say anything. I'm up to an inch
Ik youre sleeping but fyi its 5:32am I'm sitting in the middle of the road bra less and shoeless with boxers in my hand and no ride. Shits real crazy.
Randomize
