the best part was when he threw his debit card on the table, looked at everyone and said "turn this into pizza!" It felt like a scene in a 'coming of age' teen comedy.
At Grandmas for dinner. She is drinking a smirnoff ice. As soon as I saw it I had to stop myself from yelling chug.
i get of class at 4. it takes me 17 minutes to walk home and 3 to load a bowl. thank you, priority registration.
He's covered in dirt and enchiladas. We're going drinking now.
As I was brushing his cum out of my hair he looks at me and says "it happens to me all the time."
She has an inverted nipple. She told to play with the normal one until the other one pops up.
I've decided I want to blow you wearing a santa hat.
Aren't rabbit ears more seasonally appropriate?
How bout we save the 40s for when we FINISH the project this time..
If you get any calls give me a heads up. Im drinking rum in my underwear on the back porch.
when a dude sends me an unwanted dick pic I just send him a picture of a nicer one. A more photogenic one. A dick with a future.
And why in he fuck did I get 'dick' in Romanian tattooed on my forearm
Not my lover. I would rather lose all my teeth, and I fucking love my teeth.
She had a toddler. It threw up and then some guy said party foul and put it on the porch. Going back next Friday.
Almost gave the delivery guy a 34 dollar tip. That high
For someone who's supposed to be gay Greg is really good at seducing me into things I don't wanna do
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