ok think of it like jelly beans. if you can learn to like the licorice ones, youll always have lots of them because no one else wants them. its the same with fat chicks
Oh my god you would drunk register for a marathon.
A disheveled girl in front of me just looked down, shrieked, and yelled to the girl next to her "what is this" while pointing at two large white stains near the crotch of her black jeans. I love that Thursdays are weekends, it makes awesome Friday mornings
I got a Cease & Desist email from NBC for downloading Bruno. I am not going down for gay porn.
white shorts are a girls way of saying "im ready to fuck cuz its not my time of month"
Fat lady wearing Shape Up's. I would feel bad making crude comments, but she has to know it's coming.
i took it, then realized you live 3 ours away. but if you start driving now, im almost positive I'll still be hard
Wackin it to the USA womens soccer team. My own personal way of saying job well done.
Considering adding a large amount of vodka to my tomato cup-a-soup at work. Save me.
There was a cop outside the house so we just put the alcohol in this watermelon
The molly dropped while I was taking a shit. Do you have any idea how scary that is?
That does not seem like timing
Thursday is not a good day to become a felon... It's bingo night
Unless your apology includes a 20 something with loose morals and a daddy complex, I'm am not interested
Sunburned by dick at the nude beach. Bad. She tried to blow me. But. I. Just. Can't. Saddest day of my life.
Your ex spoke highly of your penis and it’s skill. I’m interested in learning more about it ;-)
Randomize
