margs and chips and queso make the world go round
well and inertia
Dude, you need to talk to your mom
wtf?
She just called and asked if i would be part of the intervention she's planning for you
Dear male population: sorry for being such a dick tease but thanks for paying for my bar tab and drunk food
why im i the only drunk person in the library?
they bought blue cups instead of red...wtf how am i supposed to pretend im on laguna beach??
He ate me out and then left in a hurry and shouted "Sorry to dine and dash" as he left my house
Dude its so hot it my room I can't jack off. Its gonna be a long summer.
One date. That's all it took. I want to have his geunis babies in me. One date.
Yes, I did know where her mouth had been, but frankly I think it was a lesson you needed to learn.
We are doing handstands and somersaults in the pool. With an inflatable beer pong table and our regular beer pong table. We're ponging by land and by sea
I'm home alone for the next hour and a half, I expect soup and and a willing attitude to do drugs from one of or both of you girls.....annnnnd go
I'm glad you enjoyed the night but why were you calling me "daddy"?
I woke up with a twisted ankle and was covered in lube. Not entirely sure what happened last night
I fear our relationship is coming to an end. Last night I felt the need to bloody apologise for waking him up with a blow job.
Shotgunning beers in the shower. Mom would be proud.
Randomize
