Thanks for last night it was amazing as always
What are you talking about
You've got to be kidding me
So you refered to him as "monster dick"...not so much
found a dugout with weed in it in dad's car. decided to top up the weed compartment with salvia. for fun.
Fat chicks shouldn't bartend
If someone cant be won over with guacomole and tequila they are not worth your time.
I'm not upset with you; I'm upset with Fox News.
I Just realized that having a picture folder that says "not for mom" may give off the wrong impression to wondering eyes
I said i love rain, just to change the subject, and he said 'id like to do it in the rain'. Dear lord. He doesnt stop
He was the drug dealer that jumped out of his car to get my number
It was awesome explaining why I had a tiger with boxers in my bed, a little bit drunk, to a girl in a pre-sex moment
He broke hus nose arm jousting with the traffic cones... We need to make head shots illegal or get helmets or something
I really hope jumping jacks prevent pregancy because I'm kind of banking on it right now, do you know why there's a unicycle in the corner of my room?
You tried to impress her by kicking the 5th floor button in the elevator, but you ended up kicking everything from 3 to 11. Then you said, "pretty accurate, huh ladies?"
do you want me to tag you in the pics from the party?
Hmm. Use your judgment. Bootlicking pics are probably not ok. Otherwise fine.
I'm really interested in the size of his penis so report back on that one
Randomize
