The worlds most fuckable chipmunk
dude beer before liquor = i want to shoot myself in the face
names aren't important. just tell him all you want is a lil make out sesh and keep it moving.
It's sad that I have started checking out the ring finger before the rack...I'm getting old
You don't understand, Single Ladies is like the Don't Stop Believing of the gay community.
I felt like I was in a real life creepy Myspace message. "girl u cute" ... "girl u got a really nice smile"
I'm watching ellen!
just because im gay does not mean you need to notify me every time you watch the ellen degeneres show
it's like your virginity...sometimes you have to pretend like it's still there
The fairy wings and cowboy hats were not the issue. The bag of cocaine that I held in the air as we drove in the parade might have been.
Something's wrong. Everything's on fire. Unless it was like that before. Then everything's alright.
On a lighter note, the guy I gave a lap dance to then fell asleep on his crotch just facebook friend requested me..
How did our waiter from olive garden end up passed out drunk in my roommate's bed?
Giving my coworkers lap dances cuz it was my turn to decide our team bonding exercise. Go happy hour!
I knew from the second he called his penis glorious that I was meant to sleep with him
Friends don't let friends drunk sleep in the dorm common room
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