you ever fart during an orgasm? feels like u just lost 10 pounds
there's a girl in the library on mysapce. she must have missed the memo.
just got a rotting pancake and bacon in the mail from your address....
From now on, just let me go home. I'm tired of hooking up with your roommates... Including you.
Nothing makes my dick softer than hot girls in rain boots.
Just TALKING to him is better than banging my bf, imagine what actual banging will be like.
Like... Chilling at home with a movie, hang out? Or have sexual intercourse in the backseat if his car, hang out?
when i'm drunk i think im just gonna point at him and yell adultery is a sinnnn. youre going to helllll
i offered her breakfast shots. she politely declined.
Yeah I just gotta do it so that my major doesn't find out. Doesn't look good having a stripper teach your 3rd grader
Look, all I can tell ya is I want to drink wine out of a bottle while you eat me. It would be the most fantastic end to finals week. Maybe ever.
I would have publicly shamed him but I'm pretty sure his tramp stamp did that on its own...
You've been dating this guy for a month now and as your best friend I have to complain that I still don't how big his dick is.
we just drove past a kid stuck in a tree what a wonderful time to be alive
My EX’s roommate heard about the breakup and offered to help me bang it out. I think she hates her even more than I do.
Randomize
