It's like sleeping with someone you met at a karaoke bar. It's never okay.
she told me she sucks everyone's dick but mine because mine is too big and "hard to suck" i need to reevaluate the girls i fall in love with.
I've never heard a "this is the reason why i dont suck your cock" explanation go in that direction
Lindsay lohan: road to jail is on E tonight. Bring vodka we are not missing an opportunity to make a drinking game out of this
both the worst and best vomit ever... it was extra chunky and thick cause of the sausage... but it also tasted like delicious sausage... also cause of the sausage
I took my pants off in the cab and tried to bite his ear. Not going oout for awhile
does she really think making her boyfriend delete me on facebook is going to magically stop us from hooking up?
he knocked a glass of water onto my bed and then said that he should get to sleep on the dry side because he was "a guest"
The best, and by the best I mean the worst, was the 7 month along pregnant chick in the skin tight body suit.
Thought I was doing makeup today for a photo shoot for a short film. WRONG. Try I'm on the set for a Fucking Sci-Fi PORN.
Whenever I'm hungover I try to stay in public as much as possible, hoping to be a cautionary tale to children. It's a public service, really.
Just had empanadas for breakfast while watching Wall-e with my yesterday's one night stand mother AND grandmother.
Your brother just walked into my room, pissed drunk and butt naked, got into my bed and fell asleep. In knowing I am gay, you have one hour to deal with him before I do
I need ecstasy. And, before you ask, the answer is yes right now
God I miss you. I would very much like to have sexual intercourse with you. I'm home eating chicken alfredo.
I’m literally naked drinking a beer and I gotta leave in 6 minutes for work lol
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