super hot butfun
Oops. What a difference a comma and a space make.
do you remember how we all fit in that bathtub?
tequila
I'll tell you what, we couldn't have asked for better binge-drinking weather.
She walked in, looked at the bed, sniffed, sighed, and went to grab her cleaning supplies. I'd say she knows.
I'd say it's a shame and a disservice to the world that we can't stay drunken shitshows to infinity
Woke up today to the sound of church bells. My first thought was shit the apocalypse, but then I remembered my hook up lives next to a church. This might be a rough day.
The less money I spend on drugs, the happier my mom will be.
He looks like a fat version of lurch from the adams family and smells like fritos. This is not the caliber man I want pleasuring himself to the thought of me!
Well she got high, deleted the essay she was working on, and then ordered dominos. We all manage stress in different ways.
im half tempted just to scoot up to him and whisper "I'm not wearing underwear" but idk if thats a heartfelt apology
As he was cumming he yelled "Yahtzee" then said im free to go. Thats my one night stand
He kept saying I needed to go to the hospital and it just made me want to call him a pussy so I went to bed
I just found a To Do list on the table, written by me last night, that just says "1. Go downstairs. 2. Get Pickles. 3. Laptop"
It's situations like these that make me climb out of windows
When you puked on me I said to you "we will just say that you threw some mostacholi at me"
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