Hawaiian shirts and no dignity
We are always on the same wavelength...kinda eerie.
Her hair smelled like a rat dipped in mustard on fire
She turned over and said "You smell like my dad, i just can't do this"
I don't remember coming home but there is cereal EVERYWHERE
So chef boyardee smells exactly the same after you throw it up
i literally discovered the exact same thing last week. i had the lasagna one
ravioli
It's confirmed I did eat a ping pong ball last night...
I'm sitting the next couple hours out. Puking in a potted plant really put shit into perspective for me.
I blacked out the second time 3am rolled around. My brain was taking a beating trying to do that math.
where are you?
Hypothermia
I need $500 dollars more than I need a night of dignity... I gonna do it.
Let's just say, at one point i got woken up at 4am by a naked guy who was offering me steak, in a cup.
i spilled a box of white cheddar cheezits on the bathroom floor about 2 days ago. when i went back to the house he yelled at me from the bathroom: "THANKS FOR THE CHEEZITS, I'll ALWAYS HAVE A SNACK FOR WHEN IM SHITTING NOW!"
I'm about to get my nails done. Would the polish name "meet me at the altar" be too straight forward for a first date?
It's the third day of class and I got told I smell like a distillery.
He tried to throw up into a beer bottle. It was a complete disaster. Vomit went everywhere. It put the Bellagio's fountain to shame.
Randomize