i'm pretty confident that i watched a woman making love to a german shepherd.
OMG I just tried to text you something dirty but accidentally texted the obama campaign
WHAT IS WRONG WITH SOCIETY?!?!?!
... says the kid who took a shit in my parents dishwasher...
We're going clubbing with matching soccer jerseys on.
What will that accomplish?
It will accomplish clubbing with matching soccer jerseys on.
Dangr zzzzzzzzone
There is nothing more demoralizing than exchanging 150 dollar Christmas gifts with a girl your not sleeping with
Every time you started making out for him we all cheered for you... that's what sorority sisters do - they cheer you on when you make bad life decisions at the bar.
We tried to hook you up with a girl but you said you'd rather fuck the large muscular black man because "At least he'd be tight". He was the bouncer, he heard you.
They need 20 oz Capri suns with liquor. Douches need to grow up with their clients
Too bad pet owners lack respect for my training in ancient Buddhist and holistic rehab therapies.
I'm not sure the Buddhist consider pot brownies holistic rehab therapy
Idk I was embarrassed that I hit it too hard so I played it off by spitting out bong water like a 'whales blowhole'
I just found your shirt hanging in a tree 4 blocks from the party...in the opposite direction of your house. where are you going?
RUDE you're the one missing half a nipple...
IT HEALED AND GREW BACK TO BE A FULL HEALTHY NIPPLE OKAY
Can you explain to me why I showed my boobs to the firemen to get free beer?
Turns out the grown up version of seeing your teacher shopping is seeing your therapist is on tinder
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