I just fucked 3 marines at the same time...how did you celebrate veterans day?
he has officially spend more money on me than any other boy. and its all gone to plan b. awesome.
Just put my hand under my pillow and found a peach ring. Lat night just came rushing back.
she said I was laying next to a garbage can in the subway doing key bumps and screaming "its my fucking birthday" repeatedly
Potato salad is not cupcake ingredient
Well at one point he got ahold of my archery gear.. And I. Shit. You. Not. Sarah took an arrow to the knee.
Whatever dude, just dont tell her your first impression was she looked like your cousin. no judgement here. just sayin.
Also just throwing this out there I don't think anyone who brings another girl back to your bed to share with you can qualify as a frigid bitch
I'm hungover from arbor mist I'm so white
This is the guy I made out with and it made me think of my dad. Let's never talk about it again.
I'm not gay but if a lesbian wants to eat my box out I'm not gonna say no to someone who knows what they're doing.
fries before guys. food before dudes. shakes before dates. chips before dicks. lemon bars before football stars. macaroni before screwin' tony. what i'm saying is please come to ladies' night
I'm proud of all of us. Somehow we all survived another Jägerbomb Tuesday
I've never met a penis that didn't think I was awesome.
I am no longer and illegal Moonshiner. I just made thousands of gallons of incredibly High test alcohol with police watching and waiting for thare couple of jugs so that they can bring home and disinfect their houses with it. I'm fat with money at the moment.
Randomize
