I plan on putting pajamas back on after I shower. Today is going to be awesome.
A guy on the street just growled at me and said damnnnn. Sometimes it scares me how attractive i am.
Forever 21 now has a maternity line. Even more of an incentive for me to get pregnant at a young age.
There is a literally infinite number of spliffs going around this table.
Delicious
I feel like I'm at a sushi bar with a spliff belt.
thats why a responsible adult always keeps some facial hair just in case they need to shave a hulk hogan mustache for midget wrestling...
I can't turn my head to the left, I'm pissing out of my ass, and my finger went through the toilet paper today... I need you.
Thank you for not puking on my lap during the first class of the semester. And fuck you for doing it in the second.
I just sent Brandon a snapchat where I wasn't wearing a shirt but had a rooster drawn on my boobs that said "cock block" and laughed for 10 minutes I have problems don't judge me
So his roommate walked in on us, went upstairs to tell her bf she has found a new use for the rafters & they must try it.
I really shouldn't have to tell you to stop banging your lightsaber on everything while we are in college.
I keeping finding meatballs in random places
I got my period today and I cried tears of joy. And then just cried because my cramps are actually killing me from the inside out.
Haha we both slept with guys named Brad born on may 1st. This is a proud day for sisters.
a day off where I don’t get laid would be worthless
It's OK, I woke up in a drag queen's bed last weekend. It took me forever to get the glitter out of my cleavage.
Randomize
