wtf someone played my fucking brickbreaker games and lost i had ten fucking lives. ughhh
maybe you did when you were drunk
no way, i wasn't THAT drunk.
What about the words "You're my personal dildo" made him say "I love you"?
I'm still with the girl from last night. remember to call me conrad and that i work for PETA
nah, shes just mad because we went through all her fb pics and tagged her crotch as all the guys shes fucked
we're doing shots for every degree below freezing it is outside
The bridesmaids just went smackdown on the floor, over the bouquet. I saw nipple. Best wedding ever
sometimes i think what itd be like to be a firework
Just traded a samurai sword for some drugs. It's gonna be one random ass night
Only thing I got out of his drunken Spanish is something that sounded like "pencil sharpener." Damn rosetta stone.
What should we drink tonight, I'm in the mood to be judged
Slept with my first Irish dude before I even got off the plane. Dublin has no idea what I have in store for it.
I had a girl last night tell me that she was happy to find a condom wrapper in my garbage because,and I quote, "well at least you're not raw dogging every slore that crosses your path"
My neck kind of hurts. I think from sleeping on the concrete.
I need thought I would ever have to use the phrase "Don't fart on that Calzone".. Thanks for that
They think I fractured my spine while doing your cousin on concrete.
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