The money shot is kinda like the "The End" part of a children's book isn't it?
so he tried to quietly tell me my Tampon String was hanging out in front of his family but i didn't hear him so he yelled it
I feel like if you stuck me in a room with all my old toys it'd be the best high ever.
We got security called on us. Apparently the wedding down the street didn't appreciate the trespassing or our loud as fuck rendition of We Are Young.
I'm about to punish you for sending me a Snapchat of your boyfriend's morning wood
Whenever you're sad about your life, just remember that I'm on a first name basis with the late night taco bell drive-thru workers.
We've been staking out a taco bell for 2 hours trying to find last night's one night stand
so like what it comes down to is do I wanna look like a boss ass bitch or do I wanna masturbate.
Dude I was tripping acid when she was crying and I literally couldn't defend myself
I DONT WANT YOUR DICK. I WANT BRUNCH.
Quick I need a sexy way to say "suck your balls"
If this gives you any indication of my current state, I stopped at Meijer after work and bought funyuns, pregnancy tests and chocolate.
How did you interpret 'wheat thins' from 'vaginal trauma'?
I woke up naked with a Jason mask on and a fat lip. What happened last night?
Also fuck yeah conspiracy
Randomize
