I hate your face
so hey instead of everyone buying me a birthday present can everyone just pitch in for my abortion?
Is it bad that I stopped wanting to fuck her as soon as I noticed she had dry skin?
I sometimes completely doubt that you're straight.
i felt obligated to tell him happy birthday since we trashed his house and i fucked his friend in his basement
i totally just wrapped her wedding gift in tin foil. These are the skills 2 bachelor's degrees have given me.
He said to me this morning that we should finish these beers, go and get plan B then on the way back, go to the pub to celebrate the death of our baby. I love Manchester.
Down at Ground Zero right now. So many people here. It's the most patriotic game of grabass Ive ever seen.
There's an official council for his ex boyfriends. They told me they 'look forward to the day I join them'.
That's cause you yelled across the parking lot you wanted to eat her out
It's that thing where you don't have any food so you just drink beer to get your needed calories for the day.
Please root for the ravens. I now have oral sex riding on this and it's been sooooo long
I found them. Thank God. Now I'm gonna have to take a Xanax for the panic attack I almost had trying to find my Xanax.
It's Reggie from Taco Bell, send me a pic.
Gonna try and have sex in the empire state bldg, will tell you how it goes
Just escaped from the ER. Meet me at the bar in 20 minutes.
Randomize
