Took his v-card last night. Yet another experience I didn't expect to have in my thirties.
They were going around the house breaking things and screaming "Not my house!"
No kidding. I just keep looking at that 'under 21 until 11/21/2011' on my id and whispering "soon enough"
At one point I was giving him a handjob and I started singing Call Me Maybe
you ate dog biscuits in front of my dogs and laughed at them for not have opposable thumbs
Thing I said while arguing: I want to be single again so that I can have pizza and dick rained down upon me.
Pulling out all the stops on being a lady.
You are a lesbian wizard with red hair. You are willow
We were simultaneously boning chicks 3 feet away from each other. Do you realize how much that upped our 15 year friendship?
I was gonna buy a KIA, but then I remembered how awesome the sex was in the back of a Hyundai so I went with that.
Well, during the ride home I had to personally apologize to both of her breasts.
hell no. i was not wasting my two tears of virginity on him.
New drinking game, drink every time Rhianna says "Work" in her new song.
I have photo proof.
Girl, don't care. What's my rule? If I don't remember it, it never happened.
fuck sobriety. I want to wake up tomorrow in a park or some shit.
I can't be a daydrinker without you. It just doesn't work.
I love you too.
Randomize
