It is pretty awful out and I still haven't put on pants yet.
I saw a penis in my cereal this morning. do you think my cheerios are like professor trelawney's tea leaves?
one can only hope.
In the airport and just saw a little boy put his head in his mother's crotch... I guess he took a whiff because he backed up and said loudly, "mommy your pee-pee is stinky!"
I wishh there was a lost and high section in walmart cause I would be there right now
Hm. I declare blue a flavor.
i decided to cut a 3rd hole in to my snuggie so i could masturbate all the time.. all time low? or genius?
she woke up, said "please dont tell me your name, i dont want to remember it"
I woke up to him climbing naked through my bedroom window with a bottle of jd in his hand. Of course I had sex with him.
I made him hve sex with me in the elevator so that I could put my finger down in never have I ever.
It's raining. Will need ride home and blow job.
I've been watching porn with my cat lately. No shame
Only thing exciting about him was his dick.
The police report said i was screaming at someone that wasnt there, then the cops told me to call someone sober and i called mike to tell him "They are trying to arrest me for stealing information from the FBI" at that point they took me to jail.
Man I gotta stop stashing shit when I'm high. I just spent 2 hours searching for my bag of pot and eventually found it in fucking a bandaid box.
I BLEED THE BLOOD OF MY ANCESTORS WHO FOUGHT SO BRAVELY FOR MY FREEDOM
cool u want pads or tampons
tampons please
Randomize
