i bet jesus would rush if he went to usc
she just made me lysol my hands in order to touch her tits.
we were holding hands throwing up into the same garbage can; if thats not true love i dont know what is .
just hooked up with an air force officer in a hotel room paid for by the military. i feel like i should go around thanking taxpayers for the assist.
Dear vodka that I hid in a water bottle in the backseat of Blairs car, I'm sorry that she gave you away to a man on side of the road with an over heated engine. I'm sure the car doesn't appreciate you as much as I would have.
Your therapist is not going to think that you using your vagina as revenge is okay
Why have they been driving around the block for the past 30 min?
He told her it was international road head day.
Oh my god, I am the best RA ever. I'm teaching my freshman girls how to deep throat on bananas as a group bonding activity. I'm making the religious ones eat them for potassium.
I just wanted to share with you that my life has come to naked arts and crafts, to fix my flask, with a rum and coke in my hand... Good luck on your exam
I don't know. She kept pirouetting across the kitchen while making dinner. I just sat there stoned.
damnit. I just found my cousin on tinder.
While we were having sex he asked me if I wanted to get wingstop after. I think I found my future husband.
His eyefucking isn't even normal eyefucking; it's eye anal.
I'm just now realizing I've slept with guys from three different decades over the past year. That's gotta be some sort of record.
If work found out I was using THEIR paper to write Karate Kid fanfic I'd never hear the end of it.
Randomize
