i can't wait to go to hell
yeah...all of my friends will be there for sure
I think scott just propositioned me for sex
What kind of flower means "I want to have unprotected sex with you, preferably from behind?" because thats the message I'd really like to send on Valentines Day
after we finished, she said she had been a backup performer for Cirque du Soleil. THAT flexible.
I just heard someone say "gosh-darnit" and they didn't have a southern twang. I worry for New York.
I have no idea what happened after 2 AM. I woke up on my bike, in my bed, with a deep thigh bruise.
it's 8 a.m. and there are people having sex at the foot of the strangers bed i'm in. the guy just asked the girl how she lost her baby weight so fast.
I succsesfully kept my nipples in my dress all night. Even when I got in a fight. I was made for the bar.
He either works for the Irish Mob or I'm being Catfished
i swear i just dislocated a hip staying still
Mind if I sleep with your cousin? If I can... thanks. If no, sorry its gonna happen.
All because of that GODDAMNED MIKE PENCE.
If sex isn’t mentioned at least three times at the dinner table, I’m not interested...
I SHOULD BE TERRIFIED OF HIS DRAGON DICK.
Between falling off a shelf on to a concrete floor and sex with you - i may never walk again.
Randomize
