The university put out a message about those missing salt and pepper shakers... You should at least give back 60 of them.
ok, his religious views on facebook are madonna lyrics. we no longer have to wonder about his sexuality.
i hooked up with a boy reading dear john, i have to get points for that somewhere
no he gets major points for having a girl hookup with him after reading dear john
Walk of Shame time yet?
Dude she's 6"2, blonde and on the cheerleading team. I look like Seth Rogen's fatter, unfunny brother. What shame am I supposed to be feeling?
Whoa. I woke up to 10 new text messages. All about bacon.
I'm shutting down my vagina temporarily...it's like the last two weeks were a going out of business sale...and now it needs a break...
Ya, because touching his brother's face for 20 minutes in front of him wasn't bad enough, I also threw up in his garden and stole like 10 of his shirts before I left. But I fed his dog, so it's okay.
Believe it or not, Travis and I simultaneously breaking beer bottles over eachothers heads was not a good idea.
just almost had a panic attack because i couldn't find the granola bar i put in my purse. i miss klonopin.
Well I either feel like the fat girl or very accomplished because his bed is now broken in three places
I saw your dick pic and thought there goes the last thread of my heterosexuality.
You're the best friend ever. I wouldn't want to do the walk of shame with anyone else.
I hit an all time low we ran out of coke and I met up with my dealer at 8 in the morning for a re-up. great customer service though.
I like how I can go from sucking dick in the my basement to singing along to veggie tales with my family in a span of 10 minutes.
My Dachshund waddled into the room carrying a rolled-up pad in her mouth with period blood. This day is clearly off to a good start.
Randomize
