If facebook stalking was a job I would totally pown it
is it appropriate to call someone “ a tasty piece of bitch?” This is time sensitive.
yeah that pretty much nipped itself in the bud when I realized i could see her whiteheads glowing in the blacklight
I had a party to get rid of booze. Woke up with even more. Will do this till I can open a liquor store
Always fun waking up to 911 as your last dialed call.
I had fun this weekend too. According to Web MD, my symptoms say I had a miscarriage.
Ecstasy should be its own food group.
and I keep making him eat me out and buying me presents, this is paradise. I wish he cheated on me earlier.
Definitely need to find a less healthy bootycalls. All this bitch got in her fridge is feta, English muffins and wheat grass. What the fuck can I make with that???
Found 2 Coors, problem solved.
Omg. I'm making you a chocolate and "herb" birthday cake and using joints for candles. I'm gunna need moms help with this!
See,its just the last time this situation happened I ended up hiding in a closet on my birthday
There should be a Doritos delivery van or something.
If all that ever happens between us is orgasms and dank memes, I think I'd be okay with that.
When you trip so hard that you can see your friends thoughts through their pupils.
So help me God.... if he sends me a dick pic.... I will make it so he has to eat food through a tube in his nose and poop into a bag by his belly button
Randomize
