One of my bosses just told me she's having communication problems because mercury is in retrograde this month. I think she's serious.
Halloween has nothing on dressing up as as the INS on cinco de mayo
I don't remember her name, all I remember is trying to suck the wedding ring off her finger.
... was I dreaming when we did coke off of the xbox, or did that really happen?
What can I say, we hook up during the holidays.. We're a seasonal couple
i could have sworn she did an overextended split with her legs over her head but now i think it was just the drugs
Apparently riding the dog like its a small horse is frowned upon in this establishment
My Internet history has 23 searches for 24 hour cake. Self respect plummeting.
Okay, I just got to our real hotel and the YMCA may have been a better choice. A man w/ no shirt on
I also woke up on my floor. Naked. On a pile of clothes. With my head in the trash can. And a sheet over me.
I'm not the one who gave a guy that lives next door to my grandmother a blowjob in a pub bathroom in Ireland, you have no room to judge.
Just Peed in a cup for my country. Fighting the good fight.
The closest I'll come to committing is leaving sex toys at their house
you know what? fuck you, fuck your nana, and ESPECIALLY FUCK THE BLACKHAWKS.
No, you are in the clear. The police officer finally just said "I give up" and walked away.
Randomize
