I wonder how skeet ulrich feels about the skeet skeet phrase and and what it denotes.
You can't have hate sex in a hallway!!
Getting drunk now, but later remind me to tell you how to crash an 8th grade grad party.
After last night, I've decided I will now bang only men who professionally ride things for a living. I will accept jockeys, cowboys, bullriders, and pro bicyclists who lie and say they're bullriders.
You act like pregaming preseason hockey is a crime. Come on man, get fucked up and watch pucks. It rhymes so well it has to go together. DOS EQUIS Y DEVILS!
Are we doing anything tonight after class for Valentine's Day or just being lazy and having sex?
If you expect me to say anything other than 'lazy and sex' you're crazzzzy!
Was she always missing a tooth or am I just now noticing it?
The highlight of the night was when he yelled "WAS THIS CONDOM MADE FOR TODDLERS??"
I saw that you sent me a photo and the first thing out of my mouth was "I swear if it's another photo of a dick poking out of a bubble bath"
she had a dildo shaped like a dolphin. she will forever be known as Flipper
I let him use my phone and now I keep getting gay cruise ads, I guess he forgot to mention something.
Apparently I called down to the hotel front desk and begged them to bring us pizza. They brought us tea.
the universe is starting to freak me out.. ive now had sex with 3 people who were born on the same day..
I have blood and BBQ sauce all over my shirt. I blame you for the blood.
I just remembered I casually gave you a tour of the house after we boned...lol
Randomize
