just got pizza delivered to the hot tub. its easier than i thought to be this lazy
i have no idea who im with but someones making meatballs. im going to stay.
I may or may not have melted a dent into the top of my minifridge with my hot glue gun, which I left on for the past couple hours unsupervised, while we were on our salvo/savers excursion. Welcome to Halloween in college.
When i woke up this morning she asked me 'when did you first find out that you could see the future.' I gotta stop drinking.
Also I got A jello shot for $2!!! It's like the forever 21 of bars
you know its bad when everytime i put on a shirt i think of who i hooked up with in it
if you lined all their dicks up next to eachother, it would be like at&t bars
Yeah...I know. It's cute I think...I mean cute in a weird like hey I kinda took you home from the bar one night, maybe criticized your penis, and fucked your brains out...kinda sorta way
Are you still goin to the xmas party?
Yaaaa why?
Jus making sure i will have nice people i know to put a blanket over me when i pass out in the field .
not saying it was a bad idea to throw an impromptu party but someone stole the microwave
Want to come over? I'm getting stoned and watching Netflix and making s'mores over a candle in my room
She was drunk and naked on our couch, sweating and masterbating to SNL. We made eye contact and she didn't even stop. It's new-roommate-o-clock
Just wiped the ashes off my forehead before he came over to have sex. Definitely going to hell.
I just used my citation as a bookmark. Want a beer?
Apparently "Welcome to the Sin Cave" is not how I'm supposed to answer the door
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