Just be blunt and say drink from my dick
rolled in at 7am w/ 2 girls i met at the strip club. my neighbor was getting up to mow the lawn before he took his kids to school. i'm 31. he's younger. if given the chance, you think he'd want to switch places?
I woke up to him trying to put his dick in my mouth. When I asked him what he was doing he said he was trying to make me stop snoring...
i just used google streetview to figure out where i spent the night last night
It's not called being bisexual its called making out with anyone that has a mouth
She just stuck her hand down the strippers pants. Shit just got real.
And i didn't ask you to do that, You showed your penis at your own free will.
I have blocked the memory from my mind. He is just a fuzzy cloud floating with my other bad decisions..
I mean how do you tell a nurse in the ER that you dislocated your knee giving a blowjob to your boyfriend.
Very innocently.
I can't talk to her. I know entirely too much about her genitals to hold a conversation without mentioning them.
I drove two hours just to throw up on myself today at the beach. My family saw the whole thing and my younger cousin cried
As a gentleman, I asked her if she was sure and she just whispered "wreck me" in my ear. I took that as a green light.
Hahah. They reconnected again?
Like with his penis I guess
My sister just poured me a dbl Ciroc on the rocks and said "the ice makes it festive." Honestly what a role model.
i opened the door and you were passed out on my doorstep wearing ugly shorts and cuddling a pinnapple, i dont know what happened to you.
Randomize
