this is two weekends in a row I've been the pantsless girl at the party. I love my social life.
I'm thinking about that time I was in a trashbag and you spray painted my hair yellow
Disgusting. If I saw her naked my dick would pack up his balls and leave.
So many lesbians keep hitting on me. I'm about to give up and just go home with the manliest one.
i could have sworn she did an overextended split with her legs over her head but now i think it was just the drugs
i wanna pet his head its so fluffy. were gonna open a petting zoo
So I found the perfect "Yeah I gained weight since high school but it went to all the right places" outfit for the reunion this weekend.
When exactly does a bender just become a lifestyle?
You have not lived until you've puked on your sequined UGGs in the Rite Aid parking lot while going to buy emergency contraceptives.
Does it qualify as sexting if you're both pretending to be fictional characters?
I'm not sure whether to be proud of you or weirded out.
I just bought us acid. I'm like the drug tooth fairy. Get ready to wake up with a sweattart of acid under your pillow.
I was on all fours trying to empty the bowl we smoked into the sewer when your neighbor came out, but besides that it went smoothly
Uh oh we had sex and I don't think I like him anymore help
We were too tired to finish having sex so we just stopped to eat the cheesecake and passed out. I didn't mind
Nothing like an afternoon walk of shame across campus on parent's weekend. Damn.
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