You are a beautiful, beautiful young lady. Your heart is made of tissue, blood and love. I will call you very soon, Princess Sophia.
he keeps calling me but I'm too scared to answer... Not sure what he's gonna yell at me for: barging into his room while he was with another girl, filling her shoes with dog food and water, or hiding his keys in the garbage disposal.....
Yeah, I think they knew. I smelled like that telltale combination of strippers and Easter.
I want a coyote to ride back and forth to the bathroom because walking is getting old
should i go to class, or party with a mariachi band?
meriachi band is very tempting, do they have dos equis?
You yelled "hold my dick" before you tackled the guy away from the dj and two random girls moved to actually hold it, then argued about it. I want that whore aura!
Hey, I got 20% of the people home that I was responsible for. I can't be expected to do much more.
Just got back from the tanning beds. I'm a lobster. I fear for the safety of my nipples falling off.
I JUST HAD A FLASH MEMORY OF DOING A SHOT OF WHISKEY WITH MY BEER YOU WERE SUPPOSED TO PUNCH ME IN THE FACE TO PREVENT THAT FROM HAPPENING.
I feel like my body was put in a dryer with rocks set on permanent press.
Well his dad is my dentist so they've both been in my mouth.
I swear to god if you settle for a trump supporting packers fan, I will not acknowledge your children. You're better than that.
I think I may have fully transcended this spectrum of life. I can see beams of light man. Down to the photons
What
The only downside is I can't stop skipping
It's to the point where if a guy can so much as find my clit, I'll consider him amazing in bed
.......do you have the salami in bed? I'm trying to make a sandwich.
Randomize
