Jesus wouldn't steal pop tarts. So why did you?
There is a distinct lack of front teeth here.
Mother fucker. I'm a 30J now. I'm fucking speechless
I don't see why you're so upset, it's not like you were wearing pants either.
Everytime I walk into a bathroom at school that I've taken a pregnancy test in I get a little bit nostalgic....
Jesus Christ, she just started playing Enya and is humming along to it. Way, way, way too hungover to deal with her shitty taste in music
Just so you know, this text is a buffer between the two guys I'm sexting. Can't get that shit messed up.
its amazing there are so many photos of me and him separately, since most of that party time was spent sneaking away to fuck upstairs...
YOU NEED TO STOP BLOWING DUDES ON MY COUCH AT MY PARTIES
YOU NEED TO STOP PROVIDING TEQUILA AT YOUR PARTIES
Things were easy when he was just a penis. Now he's a penis with feelings.
He called me piss drunk at 7:30pm while cooking bacon and said he was going to bed. I don't think he's taking it well.
Literally the only clue I have to try and figure out my blackout adventures is a draft on twitter that just says "Mummies alive!"
We had sex in the church bell tower and somehow it still feels right.
My god imagine how much cum is in that astroturf
Just by hearing the girl outside reciting the info on her fake ID, I know it's gonna be a good night
Randomize
