she said your name and I thought she was asking me to motorboat her. Best. Miscommunication.Ever.
I feel kinda awkward using the Sesame Street themed Google to search for hot young pussy...
four guys that i have slept with have come into my job today. FOUR. i feel like it's like bring your sex partners to work day.
Frozen waffles and wine. Loneliness-party of one
just tried to pee in the sink at wendys...need to stop letting my drunk habits get into my sober life
Its 6am and I'm sitting on the couch watching Clifford. Crying into my risotto because emily elizabeth helped the girl in the wheelchair get over her stagefright so she can win a trophy. Never drinking alone again.
Apparently he proposed after he saw me chug vodka out of a traffic cone.
She just shoved like three McNuggets in her mouth and started sobbing and I have no idea what's going on.
Your boyfriend and I are bonding over your giant dick.
He ordered three small pizzas while I was giving him head.
I've already dropped her on the ground of a crowded bar dancing , been incoherent drunk to the point i couldn't speak and came within 2 seconds all on separate evenings so at this point she should know what I'm about
Blocking me on Facebook doesn't change the fact that you've had my penis in my mouth. So there's that.
We just took an Eskimo family picture.. It's pretty cute honestly
Hello my rib-scented angel!
I have seen you puke and 5 mins later rock my world. So there is hotness there that average people will never see..
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