Discovered the secret to willingly attending my 3-o'clock class. Ahoy, Cap'n.
I wish real life had facebook tags so i could figure out who all these people are
I'm having a chugging contest on the streetcar. The driver is judging.
Plus someone just passed me a joint through the window. BEST STREETCAR RIDE EVER
I think I just used lyrics from the Sister Sister theme song to let a guy down easy...
And before you get all mad cause I said "nipples," I actually discarded "you are so wet right now" and "you have such a raging clit-on right now."
That's called being sensitive.
After Thursday my breakup "don't screw anybody out of respect" month will be over and I will be set loose. My pussy is purring with anticipation.
'Well you know, stuff happens' isn't really an excuse for sticking a cheeto in my ear
They had to stop us from skinny dipping in the reflection pool of the Mormon temple.
It turns out my English teacher used to pose for Playboy. She's an inspiration.
Never thought I'd say this, but getting head from a skeleton was better than I thought. Happy Halloween
I mixed Jack with hot chocolate. This may be the best or worst idea ever. I have yet to find that out
I'm to the point where I just want to get back at him in a hot man sex tornado way.
Uhm... Found a ziploc bag... In the freezer. Sam, thought it was lemonade. Why did you make frozen piss at my house, again?
He went down on me while I was on the phone with my grandma.
Guy peeing and puking at the same time in the women's restroom? So impressed that I can't be offended
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