C thinks vomiting on the batroom floor = reaon not to party. Lies. Party continues.
I'm too scared of my Fleshlight to even use it anyway.
I need a man. I think Im going to put myself on Craigs list since they caught the killer and all.
Do it and if you add naked pictures youll get an instant reply
so how does one go about finding a summer fling?
take advantage of an intern
My roommate was eating ketchup out of a bowl. Get me the hell out of here.
I love reading their "i love you more" , "no i love you more" war on facebook today knowing that he hooked up with me last night. I bet i know who wins that one.
Family bonfire. I just discovered my cousin drank an entire bottle of champagne at the age of 7. I just got showed up.
Hey did where's my bong?
In the tree out back .... Top branch on the right
Should I bother to ask?
you threw up into the pocket of your shirt. which was pretty damn polite
i told him i was allergic to semen. he pulled out an epipen.
Do you know of any good hiding spots in the Atlanta area?
I think I'm just going to go like every guy on tinder who has a jetski. I'm doing this for us, Summer is coming.
Just so you know. And I'm telling you this because I care deeply for you. Blue raspberry poptarts taste exactly the same as the regular raspberry ones.
I had to carry him up the hill while he was wearing nothing but knee high socks and a blue glitter sequin leotard.
Why is this not a picture message?
Just had a reminder come up that just said "Ham"
Randomize
