dude sorry about putting my finger in your butt last nite i was wasted and thought it was mine
Apparently riding the dog like its a small horse is frowned upon in this establishment
What's the proper amount of time to avoid my 76 year old neighbor that caught me with my pants down, peeing in my driveway at 5am?
I feel a bullet train of disappointment headed in your direction.
This vodka tastes like I'm not going to class tomorrow.
I really hope you are not drunk feeding a raccoon.
i can feel the knowledge leaking out of my brain
replace it with alcohol - nature abhors a vacuum
All's fair in love and war. and tinder.
On a separate note, I just found out some condoms aren't vegan. Problem.
Hahahaha I can't wait for you to ask "wait. are there any animal by products in that?"
also, am i correct in guessing that advertising the size of my hypothetical penis is a turnoff to him?
I love when my neighbors have passionate, loud sex to remind me that I'm not getting laid
Come eat Chinese buffet and watch us trip on acid. It'll be fun.
he was snoring so I have him a bj to wake him up and then told him he had to leave.
Just walked out of the train bathroom after having sex and got a round of applause from the passengers. Definitely the best part of the trip.
I feel like you should store your weed in something that suits your personality. For example mines in a hollowed out disney princess book.
Randomize
