Yes. Hungover. All the boys are going wakeboarding. Boys only. I wish I was a gay guy so I could go wakeboarding but still suck dick.
That's what happens when you let Keystone Light make your decisions.
My mother just asked me if i ever swallow the goods...should i be concerned?
Truth be told I was googling "why is my left calf bigger than my right calf", porn would've been a better excuse for a virus.
Woke up this morning in a randoms bed clutching an airplane ticket. God I hope I'm still in the country
I have hit nutritional rock bottom I am spreading peanut butter on to lays potato chips
She lost her glasses and we found them on the roof. Don't ask questions. Kings cup was intense last night.
Nothing bonds a father and daughter like washing her puke off the front steps
I'm not saying I haven't been that drunk. I'm just saying I haven't been that drunk and then have cops buy me shots.
We had sex on a dog bed..
On the upside, no one went to the hospital! Lex's friend was definitely on fire at one point last night though because he tried to juggle tiki torches. He was shirtless this morning and smelled like a BBQ.
I don't remember anything after falling in the ditch, but I now have confirmation that my rib is broken. Never drinking again.
If he would've shaved his beard when we first broke up, getting over him would've been so much simpler. That asshole.
Grandma keeps pulling a bottle of captain from her pocket and spiking people's drinks.. She just yelled "I'm DAMN HOT to be a grandma!" .. I LOVE HER.
The weirdest part of it all was wondering if I was going to take off his fanny pack or he was before we fucked
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