For what it's worth, your chances of anal go up the more she loves you. There's always a silver lining.
Halfway through banging her I realized that she was playing a sex playlist on her iPod...first time actually having sex to R.Kelly's "bump and grind"
I think I breastfed the cat at some point during the night, at least that's what my nipples are saying
omg. if hes just gonna get mad everytime i have sex with one of his "friends" then it was never gonna work out
When we were grinding I think your nuva ring fell into my shoe
I'm promoting my liver to CEO of my body cause it clearly works harder than anything else.
Just pulled a Kenny Powers on a snowmobile
I can't wait for you to tell me about your sex.
It's a short, short story.
Some girl just ordered Chinese delivery to her therapy appointment...
DUDE!!!!! THERE IS A MIDGET HANDING OUT RICE KRISPIE TREATS!!!!!! WHERE ARE YOU WHEN THE COOL SHIT GOES DOWN???????
So much for no-infidelity-fridays....
One a scale of one to hella drunk, how gracefully can I make it down those stairs
snapping my married booty call and next thing I know a plan b ad pops up
I'm wearing men's underwear
I don't know what to do with that information...
This is what I get for listening to Christians.
Randomize
