Fuck U Mike is a golden god.
Mike give steph back her phone.
I puked in the cab and in my hair and he didnt even know
I accidently shit my pants. So I tried to throw my underwear in their lake, but they floated. So in the middle of the night, I got into the paddle boat and had to throw a rock on top of them so they would sink. Next time, I just won't shit myself.
Just realized the hot girl at the office got a boob job over the Holiday.....she is now super-hot girl.
Unless you can cure my hangover with your penis I'm not interested.
i swear to god. if they dont have practically DTF written on their foreheads, or a glowstick in their hands, strictly no entry.
ahhhh just came to creep and you're not there AND your thong you were wearing last night is on the floor..someone has some explaining to do
I'm drinking vodka. Get ready for my famous "come over" mass snapchats
We smoked a blunt in a stall where a drag queen was fucking a bartender in the ass. So theres gonna be a second date :)
Lol I wish they went straight to your cock then shot out into my mouth like a cock nacho dispenser
So I woke up alone in the hotel room clutching a bible to my chest. Explain, please.
I threw up in the bathtub last night like a decent human being.
was that the third sophomore you've banged this week?
third one in three days
When i said you could use my car and have sex in the back....i wasn't being serious.
some guy had a sword and everyones crying..it turned bad..fast.
Randomize
