Shes cool when Im fuckin smashed.....Sober.....She suuuuuuuuuuucks
PS: the photo I uploaded for this internship site is the same one i used for my fake ID. I like to keep it classy.
apparently i'm the only person who has heard from her since saturday. she texted me "burt reynolds" at 2am sunday
he gave me a new purse full of weed and five boxes of samoas for my birthday. best boyfriend ever.
All I wanted was a "this is what America feels like" blowjob before I left. Is that too much to ask for?
I demand visitation hours with the duck.
Currently bleeding through my leggings. Not good. Not good at all.
Hospital.
I am invincible.
Just witnessed a bar fight started by a guy wearing a construction vest cuz he didn't like the other guys shirt
First night sober since New Years. I'm not sure what hurts more, the hangover or the credit dread when I find out what the tickets to Bali actually cost.
Tim and I found you a 5ish and asked how you were doing with the breakup. All you said was "i can't words"
I want the address of the individual responsible for strawbeeritas. I want to send them gift basket.
Operation terrify all men while simultaneously make them fall in love with me is going quite swimmingly so far
I woke up on my girls floor with a pound of muenster cheese in my shirt pocket
I am literally this close to screaming out my window if anyone nearby was down to fuck. I am too damn horny.
Why does my mask smell like doritoes?
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