So she puts out... but it wasn't worth it
I just made a friends list on fb of all the guys ive hooked up with. genius.
Woke up this morning 8 levels higher in Call of Duty then when I started drinking... told you I was better when I was drunk.
So im walking through ohare and this guy walks by with a cart full of big bottles of liquor. I want to know what flight hes on.
Check that he is NOT ok. He just heated up SoCo and used it as syrup on his pancakes.
she said she's never had and orgasm AND she's a cubs fan...ouch.
At victory brunch. Have a decent story. Im now eskimo brother with the duke mens basketball teams from 2002 to 2008 and obamas right hand man
im pretty sure your bra is in my room hanging on my shark pinata
Also I think he would slowly, painfully, die. You really can't live without a penis. You'd explode.
Things are burning & the world smells of peanut butter. It's beautiful.
im just laying in bed, eating, getting fat, enjoying eating and getting fat, thinking about how i will probably have to get a fat boyfriend.
I'm doing running of the bulls tomorrow at 7am...except in New Orleans roller derby girls chase you.
He's drunk and I'm pain-killer high and we're about to watch fireworks at disney world. It's gonna be fucking magical
You yell at me for giving you beer but not for licking spilled beer off your chest.
The awkward moment your booty call shows up to the Mexican restaurant and realizes you just picked burritos over pussy
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