So I just had this crazy idea, and no it has nothing to do with the fact that they made me take shots at work.
Are you missing anything? I found a wedding ring in my bed this morning.....
then we talked for a little and he asked my last name which since I have yet to get a fb request I'm 95% sure its for a restraining order
Who was that guy you went home with?
Hang on, I'm trying to ask his name right now.
You're just telling me nice things because you came in my eye.
We eventually had to ration the melon vodka. 10 pushups per shot. THATS why my arms hurt
And the funny thing is when I went to the kitchen this morning, all 4 pizzas were still there in their boxes, untouched. My question to you is: what were we eating last night?
We love you just as you are but we might love you more if we didn't have to post bail so often...
Somehow those two combined like captain planet and shit went haywire
He just stared me dead in the eye as he continued to beat off. Then said "you were going to catch me sooner or later".
Let's go one conversation without mentioning cats or alcohol someday.
I still can't believe that dog licked my nipple.
Do you wanna fuck while my apple pie is in the oven?
Oh god. Charles just fell off the bar. Didn't spill his drink. He's come so far..
We hotboxed his bathroom. going to be a good night
Hotbox went wrong - smoke sets off fire alarm. Firefighters coming
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