i dont know what it is, i just found it in my pants.
Words i added to my t9 today: gnomes, facebook, and chlamydia.
Do you think the party boat will still go out if there is a hurricane?
There was no way out of it, seeing as I left my photo ID right next to the vomit.
I called for backup and had two guys carry him to the shower. The bigger guy offered to wash his hair.
It's raining. Will need ride home and blow job.
Okay, I just got to our real hotel and the YMCA may have been a better choice. A man w/ no shirt on
he sent me the greatest dick pic I've ever received.
he actually took the time to cut a fingertip off of a glove then put it on his dick like a beanie. he called it hipster dick.
It would be awesome if I knew whose teeth these were in my pocket
whatever. i don't need to be drunk to tell you i'd suck your dick if you had one.
Anyone would get lost in that field after that much vodka. Trust me... I kind of feel like superman considering I even made it home. Most people would've been face down in a random oilfield. Not this guy.
HE LIVES IN ANOTHER STATE
actually scratch that last text, he's the perfect boyfriend. He stays faithful and doesnt find out about all the guys here. it's a win-win
Thought for a game. Duck, Duck, Grey Goose. If you're tapped, you take a shot. Then proceed as normal.
She just kept feeding people pretzels and sayying "You're such a good goldfish."
Well hell, he's gotta sleep in the bed he's made. Multiple times. For multiple girls I'm sure.
Randomize
